Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
