I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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