My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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