4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
