I want to make a zoo with you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Congratulations! We have a period
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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