i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
