if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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