Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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