Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
