i just made my gag reflex go away.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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