Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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