He had one of those small greek statue penises
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
