I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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