:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I pour the whiskey from now on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
