Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
