making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
