remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So many bounce houses so little time
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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