you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
