Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
