You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
