I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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