We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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