it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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