My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
