he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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