the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
