You can't motorboat a personality
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
