with your own penis?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
