the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
