her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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