Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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