dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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