I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
