please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You've changed since you got that strap on
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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