My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize