Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
