READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
