fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
