I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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