I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
