I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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