Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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