Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
