If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize