I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
