you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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