I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
