just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
