Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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