after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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