she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
