You really coming over, don't trick.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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