Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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