I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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