guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
how does that bad decision feel?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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