get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
