I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize