If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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