love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
