Me. At least after what I've been through.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
