I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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