are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize