i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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