It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
