I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
