He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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