Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
