It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
