It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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