he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize