i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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