Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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