Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
