life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
