his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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