Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
