Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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