Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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