4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The best revenge is premature balding
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
