He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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