she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize