i permit you to call me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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