but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
