he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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