i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
