i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
